This Is My Story, This Is My Song

by Lonnie King

I’ve lived two lives: thirty-six years I lived without Christ; thirty-four years with Christ Jesus. Two completely different lives. I really don’t like to talk about my life before Christ, because some things are easier if left unsaid.

Let me just say, life was hard for me. I considered myself a misfit, never really at home in this world. I struggled with most every part of life—school, family, relationships, and life in general was difficult. To a large extent, I isolated myself in my little world. My shyness became worse with each new challenge of life. I had no one to confide in. Even in a crowd of people, I was alone and I hated myself.

This confession may sound silly to you, but I am convinced that there are lot of folks just like me who have struggled with life to some extent. In Adam, in our natural birth, we are all born broken, separated from our great Creator-Savior God. Even though I had great advantage over others, my problems were real. I longed to be like others, but I was stuck in my little world of loneliness and despair.

Chapter One: The Beginning

“Be still and know that I am God!” (Psalm 46:10).

The most important and greatest thing that mom and dad did for me, was to make sure that I was in a solid Bible church. Of course I hated it in my youth, but that is where I learned about God and saw broken people changed and made whole.

My shyness created a prison for me with no means of escape. I hated myself. I longed to be like others, but I was stuck in my little lonely world. I had no idea that my silence would someday become an asset. One thing I learned in my silence is that most people who talk a lot, don’t really have much to say. However, the greatest benefit of my silence was that it forced me to listen. Isolated in my silence, I heard wonderful teaching and preaching in this church. I also heard dynamic testimonies and was an eyewitness of faithful followers of the Lord Jesus! During those days of my youth there was another voice that came to me, a voice from above, the voice of my unknown Friend.

He did it countless times over and over again. My silent world was interrupted repeatedly by His still small voice not only in church but in private and public places. My unknown Friend came to me, over and over again, for He wanted me, He wanted to help me, but I just couldn’t believe that anyone would want me. I hated myself.

Chapter Two: The Lie

“A man that has friends must show himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother” (Proverbs 18:24).

In 1965 an altar call was given here at Oakdale. I and three others went to the altar that night, but by the time they got to me, my shyness, my fear had kicked in. Someone asked, “Are you saved?” I responded with a lie. “Yes, I’m saved.” But I wasn’t. I lied to the church. I lied to my dad later that night. I lied to myself. And I lied to my unknown Friend, and He knew it and I knew it. The church baptized me and gave me a brand new red Bible that I never read, for it was all a lie.

No one else really understood what was happening on that night when out of fear I lied. I carried that lie with me, which made me hate myself even more. I was a coward and I was alone with my lie, filled with shame. Once you start down a road of bad decisions and lies, it’s hard to to get off that road, for one lie leads to another. I became a very good liar!

The good news is this: my unknown Friend knew what I had done and had every right to walk away and never come back to me again, but He was different. He chose to come back, in spite of who I was and what I had done. I was a liar and a fake, yet he chose to set His love upon me, to not give up on me!!! That’s amazing, undeserved grace!!!!!!

Lots of folks tried to help me down through the years and I appreciate them so much. I had good parents who tried to help. Some good school teachers who tried to help. Coaches who tried to help. Even strangers tried to help. But they all would eventually move on when I failed to respond. However, my good Friend that I did not know kept coming back to me over and over again, for He wanted me like no other could or would.

Think about this: I violated my Friend’s perfect law. I violated my Friend’s Holy Table. I dishonored my parents. I lied to classmates and to my church, but my good Friend was different from everyone else. He did not quit on me! He chose to be merciful, He chose to be gracious, He chose to love me, a scared little boy who grew to be a scared man living in darkness, alone and ashamed of what he had done, but I could not find a way out.

Chapter Three: Running From God

“Take heed brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God” (Hebrew 3:12).

As a young adult I began to make those big life decisions that set our course of life in this world. If you think life gets easier as you age, you are wrong. I found myself falling into sin over and over again. Booze became my new friend, and all of the things that come with that lifestyle, I embraced. It got to the point that I became self-righteous, defending my sin as normal and good. I defended booze and laughed at those who opposed it. You see my life became darker and darker with each new found sin. I did things that I never thought I would do and am still ashamed of today.

As I slipped deeper and deeper into darkness, that still small voice that I had heard so often and so clear as a child was drowned out by my sin. I was running from my Friend that I knew not, yet even in those days, from time to time He would break through, reminding me that He loved me and wanted me!

I married and had a family, which I was completely and totally unprepared for. I was a terrible husband and dad. I failed over and over again. The struggles that plagued me as a child were still with me and it wasn’t getting any better.

I pursued the American dream of riches and wealth and found no peace. I still depended on the booze to make life tolerable, but it brought no permanent relief. I needed help. I needed a Friend who could lift me up, who could change my life, my heart, and my destiny. I needed a Friend who could remove my guilt and shame. I needed a Friend who could forgive my lies. I needed a new beginning, a fresh start, but how it could ever happen, I could not see.

Chapter Four: A New Day

“Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess, but be filled with Spirit!” (Ephesians 5:18).

Running from God gets old. I filled my life with things—new home, new cars, and new tractors—but none of these things brought peace to me. My health began to change and I thought about death more often than I ever had. I was scared, fearing the unknown, fearing death!

April 1st, 1990, laying in my bed on a Sunday morning, my unknown Friend showed up once again. The church that I had lied to as a child, the church that I had abandoned for years was in revival. I have no doubt that they had been praying for me! I was thirty-six years old and I was scared of the dark. I was still carrying my shame, my lie, and all of the sins that I had added to my dirty laundry list of life. The Holy Spirit was calling me to salvation, calling me to go back to the church that I had lied to and abandoned so long ago, but I didn’t have the strength. The Lord provided a crutch for me in the person of my son Josh. I asked him if he would go to church with me and he replied yes! I am convinced that had he not said yes, then I would not be writing these words of joy and deliverance.

When we got to church, we sat on the back pew. The Holy Spirit was calling me to salvation and when the invitation was given, I walked down to the altar where my unknown Friend who never gave up on me was waiting. I kneeled at his feet and cried to Him for help. I told Him of my sinfulness. I told Him that I believed in Him. I told Him that I needed to be saved, that I wanted to be saved, and then I simply asked, “Please, save me!”

Instantly, in a split second, my shame, my fears were relieved and a peace from above came down and gave me a new life, a new beginning, a fresh clean start. For the first time in my life, I knew my unknown Friend personally; His name is Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, my God, my Savior, and my best Friend forever! He was what I was missing for thirty-six years. He was what I needed and He gave me life and a new start. For the first time in my life, I started living with joy and purpose. And now I am with Him, made perfect in Christ Jesus by His wondrous grace.

This is my Story, this is my Song! What about you? Do you have a story to tell? Do you have a song to sing? Do you have a testimony before men concerning the Lord Jesus? In other words, are you saved? Have you be born again from above, have you received the risen Jesus as your personal Savior?

If not, then do it. Right now. Right here. Answer the divine call of the Holy Spirit, confessing your sinfulness to the Lord, then run to our risen Savior by faith, trusting in our great Savior God who died in our place, so that we could live in His place.

My prayer today is that no one would leave here without Christ Jesus in their hearts. Trust Him right now and be saved!