Month: June 2007

We are now homeowners. And I am terrified. Not at the expense. Not at signing an endless amount of paperwork. Not at the massive amount of debt that we are now committed to. Not at all the painting that needs to be done. Not at the work of moving. No these things may cause stress, but they are not the source of my fear. I deeply long to communicate to the world that my ultimate treasure is in God, that heaven is my home, that my happiness flows from above, that I am not banking on this life. Bethany and I happened to find a large home in our price range; a home we hope to grow into, but still much more home than we needed. My fear is that when people see such a large home (realize large is relative) they will think that:

1) I love my Jesus because I believe that He gives me good things such as this house

2) I love the things of this world and Jesus is just a nice thing to tack on, like an insurance policy.

3) That following Jesus and prosperity are synonymous or that following Jesus does not involve sacrificial living.

It terrifies me to think that I might shame the gospel. So I must fight. At all cost I must seek ways to communicate that I am not living for my house, or my car, or my iPod. I want to give more than I have received. I want to sacrifice. And I pray that my heart does not grow fond of painted wood and the glory of man.

The gospel I love is bigger than any comforts, joys, or pleasures in this life. In all of my living I hope to put the gospel first. To put its proclamation above all that I may desire. I hope I have not run in vain (Gal. 2:2). I pray I yield not to a false gospel (2:5). I desire that I always remember the poor (2:10).

When is it alright to be about me, me, me (agent smith)? Ever?

Is there a way that I could be about me so that is it not about me at all?

This is dangerously fragile ice we are walking on here. Pride is a viper:

Pride is the worst viper in the heart; it is the first sin that ever entered into the universe, lies lowest of all in the foundation of the whole building of sin, and is the most secret, deceitful, and unsearchable in its ways of working, of any lusts whatever. It is ready to mix with everything; and nothing is so hateful to God, contrary to the spirit of the gospel, or of so dangerous consequence; and there is no one sin that does so much let in the devil into the hearts of the saints, and expose them to his delusions. I have seen it in many instances, and that in eminent saints. The devil has come in at this door presently after some eminent experience and extraordinary communion with God, and has woefully deluded and led them astray, till God has mercifully opened their eyes and delivered them; and they themselves have afterwards been made sensible that it was pride that betrayed them.  – Jonathan Edwards

So is Paul prideful in this passage? Does this sound like the Paul who would write in this same letter “far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ…”(Gal. 6:14)?

Think of it like this, what could be so precious to Paul that would cause him to tread such treacherous ground? What treasured truth was in danger that Paul would risk going so close the edge of a dangerous precipice?

Is it his hair, his style, his camel, his friends?